Todd: Thanks, Jim. Now, moving on to the final part of this meeting's agenda... We'll try to keep this as brief as possible because I know it's getting kind of late, but we need to cover this final topic before next Quarter's board meeting. So, while Power Point gets warmed up here, I'd like Skip to get you all familiar with what kind of benefits we expect to get from this upcoming project.
Skip: Well, we all know that hostile takeovers are unpleasant, but moves of this nature, while not typical, are still common enough to be understood and accepted by all those involved.
[Todd gestures to Skip to speed things up]
Skip: For starters we'll acquire every asset that belongs to Arasaka Corp. We can expect to expand by two hundred manufacturing facilities in South America, thirteen thousand retail locations in North America, along with a few dozen fleets of delivery vehicles (including aircraft) to add to our inventory. As for manpower, after this takeover we expect to have a roster of nearly one million Labor Shares. Financial gains will be several hundred billion in assets. Gentlemen, the shareholders will go apeshit over how much money we're going to get.
Todd: Yes Skip, they will. Still, there's more to it than just the money. I'd like to start discussing details of the humanitarian effort involved in this takeover as well.
[Todd takes off his glasses and looks solemnly at the conference table]
Todd: We've all heard the rumors of what atrocities may have occurred at Arasaka's HR compound, and this afternoon I'm afraid to confirm they're true. For those of you who haven't heard; Niel, our Espionage Manager, was killed at the Arasaka HR compound yesterday. He was able to transmit his findings before the lengthy and, ultimately fatal torture began. But, thanks to his diligent work, I think we will be able to sleep more comfortably having dealt a killing blow to that department.
[Todd clicks his mouse and the first powerpoint slide comes up. The slide shows a mushroom cloud over the yellow block letters "HR Compound"]
Todd: Now, Skip and I have been up late discussing what exactly we'd like to do with the Arasaka HR compound, including prisoners, working shares, and assets. Despite the significant monitary loss, we think it will be only humane to blow the entire thing up.
Skip: Yes, we know how most of you may feel about the potential for Labor Shares, including those being held prisoner there, but in addition to sparing them a lifetime of suffering PTSD, it's just not cost-effective to rehabilitate such a high number of inmates, even though they will carry anti-Arasaka sentiments. Company policy forces us to record objections, though it doesn't force us to do something about it. So, if you'd like to lodge a complaint, say something now.
Jim: Yeah, I'd like to say something. Can I remind you gentlemen that the Arasaka HR compound is twenty square miles, including workyards? The only way you can clear all of that area will be with a fucking big nuke, which I just don't think is worth losing all that property for. The grounds will have to be closed off for a hundred years!
Todd: We put a comittee to the task of solving that problem, and they think that dropping a cluster of smaller bombs over the compound, instead of one big one, will not only clear the area without the need of radioactive explosives, but will also provide a more even destruction-to-area ratio. We'll be able to reuse the area after the fires are out.
Jim: Well then, how about murdering all of those Labor Shares? We just invested 200 million in Cinet Hospitals Group, so why not put that investment to use rehabilitating them?
Todd: Those hospitals are mostly in Greece, so how cost effective do you think it will be to fly them all over there? There's nearly ten thousand detainees. No, the overhead is too much. The decision has been made, Jim. Your objection is noted.
[Todd jots something down on a yellow legal pad, and takes a breath.]
Todd: We put a ticket in to IT to build the bombs, they say they'll be ready on Tuesday. Also, Channel 7 has volunteered thier NewsNow Choppers to do the bombing runs with. Although it obviously increases the media visibility of this takeover, it reduces the cost of this takeover by several million. Now, moving onto resistance. Matt, since you're the Security Supervisor, why don't you tell us what you're planning on for the main assault on Arasaka Headquarters?
Matt: The siege will happen at daybreak, just after the shift change. We'll take in 500 security officers. They'll mostly use Close Quarter Attack Pistols, though we will have snipers stationed at strategic areas as well as ten Inter-Office-Artillery Units, because things will most likely get ugly. After it's weapons, Arasaka is known second-best for thier security personnell. Losses will be moderate to significant.
Jim: What about all the Labor Shares in the complex? We don't want innocents to get stomachs full of buckshot.
Todd: [Groaning] Matt, please let the man finish. If it'll keep you quiet, I'll note this as an objection as well. Matt?
Matt: To adress that, we're just as concerned about preserving Labor Shares as much as you are, so we'll only kill those who stand in our way.
[Jim rolls his eyes]
Matt: We've opted to stay with the CQAP's because of thier effectiveness in taking out tough people in tight spaces. Anything less would spell greater losses for us. Let's just hope the Labor Shares stay out of it.
Skip: Sounds fair enough.
Matt: Any special instructions for the Board?
Skip: Yes, we'd like you to confine them to thier penthouses until you have the complex secured. Todd and Joann and I would like for you to call us as soon as that's done so we can zip over and club them.
[Matt scrawls a note on his legal pad]
Jim: You're going to club them to death? Why not just excecute them like you would in a normal hostile takeover?
Todd: Now, I've about heard enough of you, Jim. I appointed you this seat on the board because I thought we were on the same page. But for some strange reason you don't seem to be understanding the magnitude of this project! Not only will we be liberating those living under the tyranny of the Arasaka Corporation; but we also stand to make as much money as the GDP of most of Latin America. We'll be able to build off of Arasaka's Mega Corporate infrastructure and file as a sovereign state. It'll do away with the notion of "Corporation." Instead, we'll finally get to put our degrees to use running a "CorporNation!"
[Todd clicks to the next PowerPoint slide which reads: "CorporNation, not Corporation!"]
Todd: That was Joann's idea. Thanks, Sugar.
[Joann gives Todd a flirty smile and then goes back to staring into her cell phone]
Todd: We've hit most of the major points here, but lastly I want to ask about what kind of progress has been made in the Post-Takeover Reconstruction and Morale Comittee. Jim, please fill us in.
Jim: Well, ironically enough, all the PTR Morale Committee did was fight and argue over the best way to help the Labor Shares and Administrative staff handle the takeover.
Todd: If you were in those committee meetings with the same attitude you've displayed today, then I can't say I'm surprised. What kind of solutions did you come up with?
Jim: For the Administrative Staff, we decided that a month long retreat to Monte Carlo and a bonus would work best. As for Middle management, we'll give them a cash and also permit policy-oversight parties in thier respective office buildings. They always seem to react best to a little bit of lawlessness and screwing thier underlings. That is, having sex with them.
Skip: How about the Labor Shares? Gaining thier loyalty and aiding thier ability to cope is important to making the transition as smooth as possible.
Jim: We've got them vouchers for Carl's Jr.
Todd: Very well, meeting adjourned.
Jim: Are you kidding me? I thought you'd kill me after hearing that! I mean, how will those people be able to cope any better with a free hamburger? I mean, a lot of those people have family that work for Arasaka. Do you think a Double Western is going to help them get over thier family being murdered?
Todd: The vouchers will be adequate. Meeting Adjourned.
[While Todd and Skip remain seated, the room slowly clears out. Jim lingers a while and is the last to leave, parting with a disgusted look.]
Todd: Skip?
Skip: Yeah?
Todd: Jim must not be taking into consideration how good those Double Westerns are. Have him strangled.
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4 comments:
Hehe, I'm not the only one who remembers Cyberpunk 2020.
I enjoyed the setting naturally, and the way you blended all the corporate talk with the dark/gritty futuristic stuff.
The ending was humorous, which I enjoyed, but at the same time was kind of out of place. I suppose the entire piece with the relentless lack of empathy from the board could be considered satirical or humorous, but the Double Western bit seemed out of place. Though that may be due to the fact that I took the premise quite seriously.
I loved "CorporNation!"
As far as the prompt went, I think the "Holding Peace" part could have been stronger. This line comes from the stereotypical wedding ceremony of course, and it represents the last chance someone has to say something or loose the chance to say it forever. Jim speaks up several times. Though he ends up getting sentences to death for speaking up, it feels like it's all about the cheesburger part, not for his insisting on some level of basic humanity.
All in all I enjoyed the piece, but I don't think you have to make all your stories funny.
Yeah, Cyberpunk has crossed my mind a number of times this year. I've always been fascinated with the concept of mega corporations and have wanted to work them into fiction somehow. I'd actually love to do a one-shot of it sometime when I'm back visiting, but we'd have to track down Brian Whitlock to get the books back first. :)
The cheeseburger line at the end I think may have been timed wrong, but not out of place. I was definitely shooting for satire, and was glad to have a blatant outlet for my distaste of Human Resources. I was hoping to dis-spell any serious feelings about the setting with the "I've put a ticket into IT to build the bombs" remark. Any suggestions how I could make the feel of the scene less ambiguous?
As for the prompt, I ended up thinking of it more as a "shut up, or forever hold your peace" kind of sentiment. That's why I agree that the last line may be in the wrong place, because it does make Jim's fate seem more trivial. ...But I couldn't pass up the joke.
How would this do:
"Todd: Jim must not have taken into consideration how good those Double Westerns are.
[Todd hands Skip the notes he made earlier. They read: "Have Jim strangled."}
Todd: Be a champ and take care of that for me, will ya?"
I think you're right that I should try more stuff that isn't supposed to be funny. I'll work into that as Write Club progresses, but this is the first REAL effort into writing fiction I've ever done, which is why I've been sticking with the first idea that comes to mind with each prompt.
Did it feel like Jim's objections were perhaps a little too contrived? It felt a little awkward for me.
My favorite part:
"[Todd clicks to the next PowerPoint slide which reads: "CorporNation, not Corporation!"]
Todd: That was Joann's idea. Thanks, Sugar."
I laughed out loud there. :)
You asked how you might have been able to make the feel of the scene less ambiguous. I started to suspect it was satire at Skip's first line. That suspicion wasn't entirely confirmed until the line "Despite the significant monetary loss, we think it will be only humane to blow the entire thing up." Once I read that, I relaxed into the rhythm of the story. I wonder if Skip could mention nuking something in his first line - because the reader may need something extreme to jarr them into realizing this is satirical.
Then again, it can be fine to ease in to the satire too. No matter what, by the end, your readers will have got your point. :)
Loved this: For those of you who haven't heard; Niel, our Espionage Manager, was killed at the Arasaka HR compound yesterday.
And this: Todd: We put a ticket in to IT to build the bombs, they say they'll be ready on Tuesday. Also, Channel 7 has volunteered thier NewsNow Choppers to do the bombing runs with. Although it obviously increases the media visibility of this takeover, it reduces the cost of this takeover by several million. Now, moving onto resistance. Matt, since you're the Security Supervisor, why don't you tell us what you're planning on for the main assault on Arasaka Headquarters?
I don't know cyberpunk well or at all, really, so this was very fresh and fun for me. I think it might have gone on a little long. however.
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